The Official Space Bastard Webpage

Real Ultimate Power

Hi, this site is all about Bastards, REAL BASTARDS.  This site is awesome.    My name is Schneider and I can't stop thinking about Bastards.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

1.    Bastards are mammals.

2.    Bastards fight ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the Bastard is to flip out and kill people.

Weapons and gear:

Bastard Sword

Bastard Outfit

Testimonial:

Bastards can kill anyone they want!  Bastards cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this Bastard who was running an anime club.  And when some dude cosplayed the Bastard killed the whole town.  My friend Mark said that he saw a Bastard totally uppercut some kid just because the kid said he liked j-goth.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that Bastards have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will megadeath your head off!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  

Bastards are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Bastards are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.  I can't wait to start comp sci. next year.  I love Bastards with all of my body (including my pee pee).    

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about Bastards?

A: Bastards are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, Bastards are very careful and precise.

Q: I heard that Bastards are always cruel or mean.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, Bastards can be mean OR totally awesome. 

Q: What do Bastards do when they're not halloweeing or ripping their own hearts out?

A: Most of their free time is spent in the lab or running anime clubs, but sometime they stab.  (Ask Chog if you don't believe me.)

This is a picture of my best friend Space Bastard showing off.

He's a lot older than me and almost done with puberty,

which is bragable.

A parody of realultimatepower.net

Copyright 2002